Right, just like the title, this entry is going to be total random pish-posh because Vanessa feels like it.

So, why "LJ celebration"? Well, not only did I update with a suave new layout from refuted, but I also finished tagging every post in my journal! And so UVERworld obviously out-posts every other tag by a long shot at 33 entries. Just totally proves I have nothing else to talk about BUT them all the time. I don't know whether to be ashamed or amused by it. Oh well. :3


Right, so enjoy this new look and I hope you had fun sitting through my random revelation. Next up: user info! :3

I don't usually update on the weekdays, but oh well, I've got nothing better to do. XD

I've actually been meaning to write about fangirling at one point or another. With my friends, as of late, I've been more open in terms of fangirling, but I can still tell that they're not all the way comfortable with my random squeals and thoughts.

Since the dawn of my fangirldom I've been trying to figure out what it is that's disturbing about what we do. It's not like it's unnatural (I don't think). Though, what I hear from my friends in terms of my anime fangirling is that I gush and faint over fictional characters, which is "wrong"; calling said characters "hot" or any variation of the word is also considered that.

I've personally never had found anything wrong with going gaga over anime characters (hence why I do it), which is why it's difficult for me (especially when I was younger), to understand why it's a no-no. Believe it or not, back then, people used to look down on it, and it led me to enter a shell for a time at school so that people wouldn't make fun of me. At one point I even tried forcing myself to stop fangirling entirely.

Ha! As if that would last long at all, lol. I couldn't resist the urges, so I silently fangirled in the corners of my mind. It was only until this year, I think, that I was able to come out of my shell because one of my friends became more open about the whole thing. Well, she's not much of a fangirl herself, but she doesn't mind me when I do it, which is good enough.

So, dear FL-lovelies, what do you make of this? Have you ever been mocked for fangirling over fictional character? Similarly, how do you feel about fangirling in general, how important is it to you?

To quickly give my thoughts on the last part of the final question, fangirling is an everyday occurrence for me, and I think it's actually influenced my personality in one respect or another. It's a very easy way to express feelings, I think, which makes it a GREAT way to relieve stress. And overall it's just plain fun. :P

OK, that was Vanessa's random post of the day! Thank you and good night. <3

Lol, well that was fun! Now to work on that User Info...

~EDIT~

Finished my user info! Ha, that's right, Janice, you better drool. LOL
I'm debating whether or not to switch to Plus on the premise of getting more stuff (like userpics), but jeez, the ads are too fugly. >_<

Bwahahaz, you know you like that title. X3
This is why I can't keep journals. I always forget to update. >_<

Anyway, contrary to the previous...maybe 4 or five posts, this has absolutely no fangirling at all of any kind! *throws confetti*

This is mostly an assessment of my current standing in the world (well, the internet world). These past few days I've seen a pattern in myself, and it's about time I sit down and really think it through.

Knowing myself, I have this annoying habit of undertaking 500000000 projects at the same time. I really do thrive on stress, it would seem, no matter how much I loathe it.  Let's see, I'm still participating in that wallpaper contest at AP, I'm involved in quite a lot of icon communities, I'm struggling to get out a fan site, I'm still accepting layout requests at AP, and I'm trying to teach myself PHP and MySQL in a matter of a few days. I really hate how I do this. I feel so...constrained all the time, I can barely stand it.

Not only that, but these things are really clouding my thinking, lately. I have not even made a dent in my summer work yet, because I've been slaving away at this machine for hours on end. I've lost my edge in just two weeks after being out of school.




Now, don't take that last paragraph as an invitation for any kind of sympathy. I'm very content with my life, ya know.

Soooo, leaving this somewhat dreary personal evaluation, next post will feature one of the following topics:

• Takuya fangirling
• Gackt fangirling
• SHAMROCK fangirling
• UVERworld fangirling
• Icons

Those are listed in no particular order, by the way. It depends on my mood. But yeah, there's pretty much 100% chance of fangirling, since in the icons I'll probably fangirl about whose in the icons. XP

Randomly: I think I must have used "really" and "just" at a record high today. I'd go in and count them all, but that might take too long. @_@;

I think I can safely label today as one of the worst days of my life and probably the worst day so far in my entire school career.

I don't know how it could get worse, but I'm sure if this day could get worse, it would be something extremely awful. First, someone's pens got stolen, and since no one gave them back, our class is now being accused of stealing. Next, we get checked for smoking because some idiot decided to have a puff in the boy's bathroom. Then, we get a lecture about the pen thing. Another lecture followed almost immediately after concerning our (my class's) conduct during one of our classes (which is not the first time). To top it all off, I was one of the names the teacher gave to our principal as one who was misbehaving.

At first, I was extremely alarmed at the smoking bit, and I was worried about the person who was doing it if the principal found a clue as to who it is. During the pen lecture, I could feel my cynical side coming out, and I constantly looked around, thinking that it could have been anyone. First pens, and then what? An Ipod? Anything's possible.

But the thing that hurt, and I mean hurt, the most, was that I was considered one of the most disruptive during one of our classes. I've always behaved in class, and have had to sit through countless lectures because of my other classmates behavior. Never before have I been designated as one such disruptor, so it's a new feeling for me. Only one time do I recall being told to quite down, and only one time do I remember. Maybe the teacher said it more than once when I wasn't paying attention, but there were definitely people who had their names called more than mine. It stung when the principal said my name. I had to really hold the tears back that were pricking the back of my eyes. Even now I'm doing it. I'm not really that mad at the teacher, though I'm not totally OK with him. I'm really more disappointed in myself. Have I really gotten so used to everything that now I'm talking out without even noticing? Have I really gotten so lax and disrespectful?

Really, for the first time in my entire life, I am afraid to go to school. Actually, no, that's an understatement. I'm terrified. Our principal, during the conduct lecture, seriously threatened to expel the entire class, should the misconduct continue. And you know what? She'd do it, too. I am so frightened at what might happen tomorrow, or even the remainder of the school year. At first, 40 days seemed like nothing. but after today, I think it might be the longest 40 days of my life. I wish I could just escape somewhere and never come back. I really hate that place now. At first, I thought I could handle it, but with still another year to go, I don't know if I can take it. I'm starting to think that maybe changing schools wouldn't be so bad. This would be especially true if my class did end up getting expelled.

All I can do now is hope for a better tomorrow. Ha! As if that was possible. I know that all that awaits us are more lectures, more yelling, more screaming, more disappointment, and all that other bad stuff. I don't know if I'll make it through the school year at this point. If I do, I'll be sure to thank Lady Luck.